I know I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogs this year. Even Suruj has started to miss her occasional spots of fame; gently ribbing me about not writing anymore lately.
Beginning of this year, I had created a new section on this blog A not-so-flowery, genda-ful life, naively excited about the things I had planned to share under this column. Little did I know then what I was in for, come the following months. Creating an independent platform outside of mainstream media, a space for individuals to say exactly what they wanted to say without any influences or inhabitations suddenly became this overwhelming task where it was about everything else but me. About incredible stories and ideas and concepts which were not mine. Most importantly it became about the credibility of the space. And to achieve that, it became imperative for me to become silent.
This year I’ve learnt that as important it is to tell your story, it’s just as imperative that you listen to those of others. I constantly get reminded to get more ‘active’ on social media; show more of behind-the-scenes action, engage and interact with followers more, (update my profile picture!) and I still have a long way to go before I perfect a selfie using the side button! Some days I miss writing here, the hashing/analysing/solving and as much as I’d like to start writing in this column, I’m just not yet ready to share about all that has happened this year. Some good. Some heart-wrenching. Some deception. Some low points. And some – the stuff that dreams are made of. Not just yet, dear reader.
Remember when I first started writing some 3 & 1/2 years ago on Where is Shyamni? (Ignoring that sometime back, I was reminded that I was ‘blogger’ not a ‘writer’. I’ll darn well be a writer on my blog – thankyouverymuch.) I constantly used to think why am I even bothering to write this down, who’d be reading anyway? Remember all those places I travelled through and didn’t have a power supply or regular internet connection but still jugaad karo to somehow put up my posts? I recall the hours I spent proofreading, formatting, editing my words & pictures to perfection and then cursing myself to damnation of wasting so much time on something that wasn’t even read by 10 readers at that time. I looked up basic coding, learnt what plugins were, configured how to map domains, by the end of it knew that servers and hosts are just not people at parties – all while thinking what was the point.
Today as part of creating this alternate media platform, I am making, curating, managing, writing – websites, concepts, YouTube channels, social media accounts, stories & ideas in a professional context. Working on actual deadlines!
And I think of the broke time I irrelevantly paid US$5 (3 x Manipuri thalis!) to a teenage boy sporting a gelled fringe in Tamu at the Burma/India border only to frantically try and upload 5 days worth of travelogue via bluetooth sharing on his phone on a shady street corner which wasn’t even read by many.
As life has taught me time and time again that the universe starts preparing you for the next step in life way before you can even think about it. And so here we are today. You and me both, dear reader.
And I am just writing this little note to let you know that I’m still here. I may be silent but I’m listening. For once, let’s hear from your end of the line. Drop me an email, comment/PM on FB, tweet, Instagram; however – for once tell me your story.